Pretty Proud

So, I have been doing good keeping up wouldn't you say. Alot has gone on this weekend and I can't really get into it a whole lot. Let's just say it involves my mother and an attorney.

Sometimes I sit here and ponder on how grateful I am for Adam's family and my father. I feel like these are the only people in my life that would never do anything to intentionally hurt us, besides my close friends. I have learned so much in life and sometimes cutting people out of your life, including your mother, is what the Lord has planned for now. It seems as though, every time I "take a break" from her, my life is so much more simple and easy going. The problem is, she is my mom and there isn't much I can do about that. As I sit here and look at my little guy, he looks at me with his huge brown eyes with trust that I would never hurt him and I could never imagine doing/saying some of the things my mother has done and said. This is like my online journal so if there are people reading this that don't like it, then I guess don't read it!!

I have actually tried being the bigger person and mending things, however, after speaking to a handful of people, it seems as though this relationship is not salvageable for now!! Damage has been done way too deep to imagine. It's amazing to me though that the people she has slandered me to, have actually defended me and put her in her place to say the least. I am truly blessed for those people that have stuck up for what is right!!

I feel like I am constantly reminded of my past when she is around or when we have a disagreement she can only shoot me down with my past and I think that everyone is just tired of her role as the "victim". I have just learned in life that there are more important things to cherish and I am not going to sit around and allow anyone to make me seem like I am a bad person.

I am always the first to say, I am not perfect and I have made mistakes, BIG ONES!! However, when people change, others need to allow them to forget about the past and move forward. Still to this day, I have not said nor will I ever say 1 bad thing about my mother to defame her character. I choose to be a bigger/better person than that.

Other than that, life has been ok. It's 8 pm, my little guy just went down for bed, no problems and I am on my way to jump into bed for a much needed 12 hours of sleep. I have a long week ahead of me.